Round Six – Part 1

Does it count
If a third party
Takes Round 6?
I feel a little
Cheated
Deprived of our right
To battle this out
To the end with
All our might
An interloper
Intruder
Lashed out with
A near perfect
Right hook
Almost achieving
A knockout
But I’m still standing
On legs of jelly
Still breathing
Burning gasps
Still conscious
Although barely
And I can’t concede
This Round just yet

Messy

My messy head
Is spreading to my heart
But I really don’t want
Any feelings to start
Because it won’t be long
And before I know it
You will be gone
All the emotions hit
Just moments ago
Now I’m losing control
Of my mind and so
I want to quit while on a roll

Round Five

It would appear I need to concede Round 5
Although not that long ago it would
Have technically been a win to me
But now it’s happened I can’t help
But think about all we’ve been through.
I’m not ready to lose you yet
We’ve five rounds to go, so let’s
Fight them to the end

Round Four 

And so I found the block function
Which should give Round 4 to me
And in theory be the knockout
That I so desperately seek
But my resolve’s already wavering
And I don’t know what to do
Because my willpower’s non-existent
Whenever it comes to you
I’m sure I’d prefer your anger
Than the rollercoaster ride
But there’s still that little voice
Whispering somewhere deep inside
That the journey’s still not done
And although we’re in Phase Three
I’m taking the easy way out
Which is of no benefit to me
But for now I’ll stand my ground
And hope I can win out
Even though my inner conflict
Keeps me filled with doubt
I need some peace and quiet
Some time away from you
A chance to find my feet
And work out what I want to do
So we have a Mexican standoff
While I take some time to grow
But whether it’s between us
Or just within me I do not know
Time will tell as always
Of that I know I’m sure
But for now these lyrics remind me
“I’m not your swinging door”

Lyrics from “Swinging Door” by Catherine Britt

Round Three

A week on and I broke my vow
I’ve let you crawl back in somehow
It takes so little to make me happy
But right now I’m fucking snappy
They say some you win and some you lose
Well I guess round three has gone to you
But then that still leaves us seven left
And I’m still hopeful for a knockout yet

Final Thanks

I’ve been dreading this day for weeks,
But now that it’s arrived,
I find anxiety’s not at a peak,
And so far I have survived.
Although the day has barely started,
And who knows what is in store.
By the end we will have parted,
And I won’t see you any more.
I’m not completely devastated,
As I was expecting I would be.
All the things I contemplated,
I now hope to never see.
The future’s looking rosy,
No matter what it brings,
For even if it’s crazy,
I know my heart still sings.
So, here’s my final thank you,
For everything that’s done.
For teaching me to be true,
And for all the joy and fun.
For all the pain and heartache,
The emotions and the tears,
For leaving me more awake,
And learning about my fears.
May all good things come your way,
As we move forward from here.
And the final thing I have to say,
Is, oh my goodness, what a year!