Busted

I can’t guarantee I won’t run
If things ever seem more than fun
I ask for patience, that is all
And not to judge me when I fall
I want to give all I’ve got
Just not sure if it’s worth a shot
If I don’t know exactly where you stand
On things I know we hadn’t planned
There I’ve said it for all to see
Another part of crazy me
Few can handle such a messy head
But I’m hoping the signs are not misread
I’d really like to see where this goes
But you’ll have to keep me on my toes
I’m hoping all’s not done and dusted
Just because my mind is busted

Round Six – Part 1

Does it count
If a third party
Takes Round 6?
I feel a little
Cheated
Deprived of our right
To battle this out
To the end with
All our might
An interloper
Intruder
Lashed out with
A near perfect
Right hook
Almost achieving
A knockout
But I’m still standing
On legs of jelly
Still breathing
Burning gasps
Still conscious
Although barely
And I can’t concede
This Round just yet

Round Five

It would appear I need to concede Round 5
Although not that long ago it would
Have technically been a win to me
But now it’s happened I can’t help
But think about all we’ve been through.
I’m not ready to lose you yet
We’ve five rounds to go, so let’s
Fight them to the end

Round Four 

And so I found the block function
Which should give Round 4 to me
And in theory be the knockout
That I so desperately seek
But my resolve’s already wavering
And I don’t know what to do
Because my willpower’s non-existent
Whenever it comes to you
I’m sure I’d prefer your anger
Than the rollercoaster ride
But there’s still that little voice
Whispering somewhere deep inside
That the journey’s still not done
And although we’re in Phase Three
I’m taking the easy way out
Which is of no benefit to me
But for now I’ll stand my ground
And hope I can win out
Even though my inner conflict
Keeps me filled with doubt
I need some peace and quiet
Some time away from you
A chance to find my feet
And work out what I want to do
So we have a Mexican standoff
While I take some time to grow
But whether it’s between us
Or just within me I do not know
Time will tell as always
Of that I know I’m sure
But for now these lyrics remind me
“I’m not your swinging door”

Lyrics from “Swinging Door” by Catherine Britt

Effort Required

It doesn’t matter who it is,
If someone smiles at me
I become emotionally attached.

But over the last four weeks,
I have been being taught,
How to gradually detach.

So I’m sorry to have to tell you,
My darling Mr Trouble,
That it now takes effort to win me.

For no matter how I might adore you,
Or feel emotions building within,
There’s some action I need to see.

I’ve learnt well from a Master
Of being used and abused,
And that’s no longer what I choose.

So pull your socks up Kid,
And put in some work real soon,
Or you’ll be the one to lose.