Sounds of the night
Interrupting the silence
The night would hold
As I sit in this place
And wonder about how
It will all unfold
I hate the insecurity
It eats away slowly
At my insides
I bargain with God
But feel he has long
Given up on me
And my demands
What is it I’m meant to do?
What’s the purpose
Of all this chaos?
Will I be okay?
How do I get through?
Funny, the only thing
I’m not thinking about
Tonight, is you
In the space between
Sadness and peace,
Many shadows wander.
Seek unknown answers.
I’ve joined the queue,
But the answers I seek
Are to questions unknown.
A young girl sits next to me
Not a girl you can see
But she is there all the same
And I know she shares my name
She tells me she’s sad, lonely and scared
That’s definitely sentiments I share
She tells me she didn’t fight to survive
So I could drown in my sorrow and cry
She fought for a future, an adventure, a life
She always knew she’d never be a wife
So she asks me why I am wasting my chance
To adventure, explore, to love and to dance
And as I turn and look into her blue eyes
I find I’m also asking myself why
A year ago, I was happy.
A year ago, I was me.
A year ago, I was free.
A year ago, I was confident.
A year ago, I was resilient.
A year ago, I felt cognizant.
A year ago, I was enthusiastic.
A year ago, my mind wasn’t so spastic.
A year ago, I didn’t feel plastic.
A year ago, I felt I had potential.
A year ago, anything seemed possible.
What the hell happened?
I thought of you today
I wondered where you are
I remembered the games we played
I recalled seeing you from afar
Are you still alive?
Did your dreams come true?
Did your heart survive
All that life has brought to you?
The depths of dark brown eyes
Have often filled my dreams
Would there have been as many lies
If the impossible could have been?
Of course I will never know
The events of all these years
But from my eyes now flow
A stream of nostalgic tears
There is only so much
One can do
Before the cost
A DVD I can’t watch for more than a minute.
Black and white photos, each with you in it.
Memories arrive, completely flooding my mind.
I want to run and hide from what I might find.
But deep down inside, there is a part of me,
That wishes you were here, so I could see
What you think of my life now.
I am no longer the person, that I once was.
For the longest time I’ve thought this is because
Of what you did, and what I’ve been through,
But perhaps the reason I am, is not because of you?
Maybe I’m just being me.