I feel the need to tell you this
And yet don’t want you to know
At least not while it’s bliss
But earlier tonight the tears did flow
As I thought how long and hard
I have wished and desired to die
During the near and distant past
And how lucky I am to have survived
So I can be here to experience this


Trying to grasp some headspace
In which to do some work
Seem to be failing miserably
So searching for some new perspective
To see things in a different light
And hopefully trick this wandering mind
Into submitting to my will
Which brings into consciousness
A whole range of thoughts and ideas
That have nothing to do with the present
And everything to do with the past and future
How do I find the here and now
And settle into the peace required
To focus on what needs to be done?


So many words, but none I want to share
Due to wonder and enjoyment, not despair
I don’t want to break this magic spell
Or interfere with this sense of being well
For a little while longer at least
I want to make the most of this peace

Lonely or Peaceful

Wrapped tightly in my loneliness,
I remember the words of a friend,
“Is it loneliness or peacefulness?”
Giving me motivation to pretend,
To fake it ’til I make it and feel
Peaceful, both without and within,
Until the feeling becomes real.


The gift is priceless
To know I can walk away
That I’m not bound
And needs can be met
In other ways
I can’t ever repay
The gift I’ve received
My thanks I can’t express
In any way
That really captures
The depth of
My gratitude


When I am done,
And can take no more,
That’s when you come
And my love restore.
You tell me things
I so want to hear,
Your body brings
An end to my fear.
You hold me tight,
In arms warm and strong.
“All will be right,
Nothing will go wrong”
I hear you say,
In a whispered voice,
But clear as day.
And I have no choice
But to continue on.