Words From The Edge

Sitting here, longing for complete obliteration, I am aware of the pain that would leave behind. Don’t ever think it never crosses my mind, but instead of motivating me to step back from the edge, it adds to, and compounds, the pain slicing my soul to pieces. Knowing the anger, hatred, and disappointment my thoughts and actions will inspire within you, increases my sense of patheticism and sends my self-disgust skyward. To someone already feeling pain beyond any scalable level, reinforcement of their unlovability makes surrender to lifelessness so much more attractive.

Mind Games

My mind can take this beautiful
Gift you have given me and turn it
Into something demonic and ugly
Your motives are to play and destroy
Is how the story now reads in my head
Indifferent to anything beyond
Your own desires and satisfaction
Thoughts have not only immobilised me
But are pushing my frozen body to the edge
Of the cliff from which I desperately
Long to leap into the arms of oblivion


The beauty of the day is not lost
Even though tears are pouring out
Physical evidence of the cost
Of a mind that’s been fucked about
Craving more than withdrawal
Aching longingly for extinction
The torture of being abnormal
Leaves invisible marks of distinction


There is an ethereal beauty about her
So plain, and yet magnetically attractive
She holds some sort of healing remedy
That others can’t resist dipping into
Thanklessly, and without gratitude
To fulfil their personal needs and desires
Yet she continues to give graciously
Holding onto the hope that one day
She will not just be admired and desired
But honoured, respected, protected and loved

The Belt

I bought you a present Sir
That I think you’ll rather like
It’s sure to make the kitten purr
Which causes you delight
Marking your territory will
Be quite simple I imagine
And trying to stay still
Will be my greatest challenge

Into The Light

Your hands around my throat
Make me feel alive
Providing an ironic antidote
And motivation to survive
To reach for greater heights
Than I ever have before
While craving for the nights
Of kneeling on the floor
Hearing the whisper of your belt
As it’s removed from your hips
The soothing balm soon felt
Then the soft caress of your lips
Walking through the dark side
Leads me to the light
By releasing from the inside
The soul destroying blight
Of the legacy left long ago
By one who should have cared
More than to just bestow
A death wish in my head