Who Would I Be?

What would I do,
And who would I be,
If there were no ‘shoulds’
Or ‘should nots’?
Would there still be such
Conflict in my mind if these
Limitations did not exist?
What would it mean to be ‘me’
If there were no ingrained
Social control mechanisms?
In what ways would life be different?
Or would it be just the same?


I don’t know what the rules are anymore.
They seem to have changed.
It seems, thinking that I knew the score,
Was quite possibly deranged.

And so, I keep fucking things up,
Making all kinds of errors and
Assumptions based on the past.
I really don’t understand!


I’ve heard what you have said,
The malicious rumours and the lies.
The personal attacks that have led
Me to see you through new eyes.
Although you think you know me well,
In reality, you know me not at all,
And it is that, which makes tears swell,
But I’ll be damned if I let them fall.
Your body and mine, are like magnets drawn
Together by an unseen, unknown force,
But it’s your mind that uses me like a pawn,
And attempts to throw my life off course.
The accusations you’ve thrown at me
Are based on nothing that is true.
The only crime for which I plead guilty,
Is that, despite all this, I’ve continued loving you.

Can I Be Me?

At what point does abnormal
Become sick and deranged?
I’ve never been normal
But again I have changed.
No values, no morals,
No inhibiting factor,
I rest on my laurels
But does that even matter?
If no one gets hurt
By the things that I do,
Do I need to exert
Restraint, or can I be true
To the me that I am?


Pushing the boundaries
Walking a fine line
Between consent
And abuse
Few people are able
To cross the line
Of social decency
And enter the dark side
Without going too far
But you can
Take me there
In safety
Allowing exploration
Of hidden memories
Of emotions
And feelings
Of the forbidden
And taboo
But my attachment
And desire
Burn so intensely
It consumes
All in its path
Making me wonder
If it’s me
Not you
Tearing us apart