Round Five

It would appear I need to concede Round 5
Although not that long ago it would
Have technically been a win to me
But now it’s happened I can’t help
But think about all we’ve been through.
I’m not ready to lose you yet
We’ve five rounds to go, so let’s
Fight them to the end

We Are The Same

“You never judge me.”

And why would I? You are me.”

“What do you mean?”

We are parts of the same one. You are me, and I am you. Like two containers of sand mixed together – once mixed, you can’t tell them apart.”

“Kind of like a drop of food colouring in a glass of water? Once stirred you can’t separate them?”

Exactly.”

Secret

I feel the need to tell you this
And yet don’t want you to know
At least not while it’s bliss
But earlier tonight the tears did flow
As I thought how long and hard
I have wished and desired to die
During the near and distant past
And how lucky I am to have survived
So I can be here to experience this

This Place

I love that no-one knows who I was before
I love that here I learnt I am loved and adored
I love the opportunity, and the friendly smiles
I love that I can have my own personal style
I love the people I’ve met who now are friends
I love how the past and the future blends
I love that I no longer wish to roam
I love that I have somewhere I call “Home”

Round Four 

And so I found the block function
Which should give Round 4 to me
And in theory be the knockout
That I so desperately seek
But my resolve’s already wavering
And I don’t know what to do
Because my willpower’s non-existent
Whenever it comes to you
I’m sure I’d prefer your anger
Than the rollercoaster ride
But there’s still that little voice
Whispering somewhere deep inside
That the journey’s still not done
And although we’re in Phase Three
I’m taking the easy way out
Which is of no benefit to me
But for now I’ll stand my ground
And hope I can win out
Even though my inner conflict
Keeps me filled with doubt
I need some peace and quiet
Some time away from you
A chance to find my feet
And work out what I want to do
So we have a Mexican standoff
While I take some time to grow
But whether it’s between us
Or just within me I do not know
Time will tell as always
Of that I know I’m sure
But for now these lyrics remind me
“I’m not your swinging door”

Lyrics from “Swinging Door” by Catherine Britt