In Training

Maybe you broke me
Made me fully compliant
Achieved what no one else has
But this hasn’t destroyed me
It’s prepared me for what comes next
What an amazing training ground
Our rollercoaster ride has been
I will be forever grateful

Illusion

The difference is I never
Intentionally deceived
Or influenced whether
Or not you perceived
Me in a way I wanted

You deliberately lied
And created a perception
Of you that belied
The complex deception
Of being something you aren’t

I could have lived with it really
If you’d confessed the truth
When I discovered the duality
But you continued to prove
You could not be trusted

Pieces of truth have emerged
Over time, and many versions
Of reality have blended and blurred
Into convoluted dispersions
Of whatever might be real

So the pain you felt yesterday
I assume is fake at best
Because we both know we play
With different toys in a quest
To divorce from each other

But I will never know for sure
Until we sit together and bare
Ourselves and our souls and pour
The truth out and openly share
How to proceed from here

Blind

I get so caught up
In my own grief and pain
And focus so much
On trying to stay sane
I forget your arsehole act
Is not really you
But a defence to counteract
And protect what is true
So forgive me please
For thinking the worst
And failing to see
Your heart’s also burst
And shattered into pieces

Forever Grateful

I want to express my gratitude,
To pour out my heart and soul
And sincerely thank you.
I know I have told you before,
But every day I am learning
I will be grateful forever more,
Because you unleashed me.
You gave me confidence.
You taught me to love my body.
And that is just the start.
You made me more aware of
The conflict of head and heart.
You taught me to be patient,
To trust what is in the here and now,
And not assume bad intent.
I will never be able to list
All of the incredibly amazing
Experiences and gifts
You have given me,
But my dearest wish
Is for you to be happy
And know that you have changed
My life for the better, even though
We’ve been through so much pain.

Delight

Your words make me so happy
It seems we are both becoming free
Strange forces are once more
In motion, opening door after door
So many choices could be made
And as for my latest escapade
I’m sure it will appear in writing
But for now I am delighting
In the sense of adventure
Embracing and relishing the pleasure
Of being myself