Wrapped tightly in my loneliness,
I remember the words of a friend,
“Is it loneliness or peacefulness?”
Giving me motivation to pretend,
To fake it ’til I make it and feel
Peaceful, both without and within,
Until the feeling becomes real.
I made a silent prayer
Into the dark night air
That no longer would we play
If only I could stay
How was I to know
Such a promise, although not spoken,
Would lead to a heart being broken?
When I am in your arms,
I want to stay there forever!
When I haven’t seen you for a while,
With no reply to my texting endeavours,
I want to push you away and leave.
But when the push comes from you,
I am completely lost, and
Unsure what to do.
I’ve heard what you have said,
The malicious rumours and the lies.
The personal attacks that have led
Me to see you through new eyes.
Although you think you know me well,
In reality, you know me not at all,
And it is that, which makes tears swell,
But I’ll be damned if I let them fall.
Your body and mine, are like magnets drawn
Together by an unseen, unknown force,
But it’s your mind that uses me like a pawn,
And attempts to throw my life off course.
The accusations you’ve thrown at me
Are based on nothing that is true.
The only crime for which I plead guilty,
Is that, despite all this, I’ve continued loving you.
Branded, like livestock, to assert ownership and deter cattle rustlers.
Tattooed, like slaves of days gone by, to show they have a Master.
Badged, with yellow, but not a star, to highlight difference and induce prejudice.
Painted, in shades of black and blue, not Scarlet, to tell the world of my character.
Bruised, to remind and reinforce just where I belong.
Heart so sad
Counting the cost
Of what we had
Not sure whether
To fight or flight
But how I wish
For another night
I’ve got the message
Loud and clear
That you no longer
Want me near
I know in my heart
Something has changed
Now my life
Must be rearranged
To fill the void
You have left
And somehow hide
That I feel bereft
Such a shame
I cried all those tears
Because right now
I could cry for years
But nothing from
My eyes will flow
Just a sadness sitting
Where love should grow
I already miss
Your voice and smile
And my body longs
For your sexual style
I’m not sure how
I will make it through
Because my heart
Still belongs to you