I never thought of you much
At the very start
But somehow or other
You’ve burrowed in my heart
And sit there as a tingling itch
I can’t reach to scratch
So you’re constantly on my mind

Internal Conflict

I spend more time in my head
Than I do in the land of the living
Or so it seems from what I’ve read
And the emotions it’s been giving
If I didn’t need the motivation
I wonder if I would really need
Anything other than my creation
And perhaps a little weed
But as tempting as it is
The real world feeds the words
That create my ideal bliss
So I must not only turn inwards

Robert’s Gift

My heart is aligned with my mind?
Oh, what a discovery!
What a magical find!
What an aide to recovery!
You are a wonderful man
My thanks are sincere
I think you’re part of the plan
To bust the veneer
Regardless I’m grateful
Because it now makes sense
The knowledge’s delightful
Even though I felt dense
So I will enjoy what is
Just as I have done
And revel in the bliss
Of feeling as one
Thanks for your gift
Although inadvertent
It’s given me a lift
And made me cognizant


I am struggling to remember
You are not the one who came before
Sometimes your words are so similar
Anger and annoyance rise from my core
Even though you are not the same
And you’ve proven this in action
I’m scared of playing the same old game
So withdraw my heart a fraction
More each time you hit a nerve
And I’m not sure how this is impacting
On my willingness to serve
But I do know it is making
Me force you to work harder
Than possibly you might
If it weren’t for lessons from a Master
That has left me feeling fright


I get so caught up
In my own grief and pain
And focus so much
On trying to stay sane
I forget your arsehole act
Is not really you
But a defence to counteract
And protect what is true
So forgive me please
For thinking the worst
And failing to see
Your heart’s also burst
And shattered into pieces


Oh boy! What trouble I’m in
Just the thought has me in a spin
I want to hold on so tight
And give with all my might
But something’s holding me back

I don’t want to go where I’ve just been
And nor do you from what I’ve seen
So for now I guess we wait
And call each other mate
Until the dust settles at least

Both deep and dark and convoluted
Both carrying scars and persecuted
Our bodies say what we’re unable
All emotions set on the table
But words are never spoken

And that suits me fine to hear no words
After all the lies and crap I’ve heard
Yet part of me has come alive
Has somehow managed to survive
And wants to bask in adoration

I feel your pain as I do my own
And you feel mine so says your tone
But what do we do from here?
I’m not used to one so sincere
Or so trusting with their heart

Perhaps it’s that which holds me back
From drowning in your aphrodisiac
Maybe I’m scared of my power
To hurt and completely devour
You with my intensity

But then I remember we are the same
To neither of us is this a game
But we would never say so
Always keeping our feelings below
The point of no return

You make me wonder if what I see
Is what others encounter when looking at me
It’s like you hold up a mirror
Each time you come a little nearer
And my heart hurts for both of us

Time will tell or so they say
And after seeing you today
I wish time would hurry up and share
The story of how, when and where
We will both be free to love again