I can’t guarantee I won’t run
If things ever seem more than fun
I ask for patience, that is all
And not to judge me when I fall
I want to give all I’ve got
Just not sure if it’s worth a shot
If I don’t know exactly where you stand
On things I know we hadn’t planned
There I’ve said it for all to see
Another part of crazy me
Few can handle such a messy head
But I’m hoping the signs are not misread
I’d really like to see where this goes
But you’ll have to keep me on my toes
I’m hoping all’s not done and dusted
Just because my mind is busted


My messy head
Is spreading to my heart
But I really don’t want
Any feelings to start
Because it won’t be long
And before I know it
You will be gone
All the emotions hit
Just moments ago
Now I’m losing control
Of my mind and so
I want to quit while on a roll


I am struggling to remember
You are not the one who came before
Sometimes your words are so similar
Anger and annoyance rise from my core
Even though you are not the same
And you’ve proven this in action
I’m scared of playing the same old game
So withdraw my heart a fraction
More each time you hit a nerve
And I’m not sure how this is impacting
On my willingness to serve
But I do know it is making
Me force you to work harder
Than possibly you might
If it weren’t for lessons from a Master
That has left me feeling fright


Invisible bandages
Wrap me like a mummy
Squeezing ever tighter
Until I can no longer breathe
Sweat pours from my palms
My heart pounds frantically
As though it must expend
All of its remaining beats
Within the next few minutes
Every muscle tense to breaking point
Every molecule with antennae
Extended waiting for the threat
That will never arrive
Adrenalin floods my veins
Panic sets in
An urgent need to flee
And escape the office confines
But there is no known trigger
No twisted mental processing
No agitated mind
This is purely a body memory
A unique anxiety experience
That I wish I could stop
Tears flow from frustration
The shaking and stuttering begins
Now the mind joins the party
And fails to focus as it flits
From one random thought to the next
I have lost all control
My efforts to relax are in vain
There are no answers
This is just how it is
Flashbacks start and I can do nothing
Except let them do their thing
Unheeded and uninfluenced
They will pass in good time