Possessed

Invisible bandages
Wrap me like a mummy
Squeezing ever tighter
Until I can no longer breathe
Sweat pours from my palms
My heart pounds frantically
As though it must expend
All of its remaining beats
Within the next few minutes
Every muscle tense to breaking point
Every molecule with antennae
Extended waiting for the threat
That will never arrive
Adrenalin floods my veins
Panic sets in
An urgent need to flee
And escape the office confines
But there is no known trigger
Today
No twisted mental processing
No agitated mind
This is purely a body memory
A unique anxiety experience
That I wish I could stop
Tears flow from frustration
The shaking and stuttering begins
Now the mind joins the party
And fails to focus as it flits
From one random thought to the next
I have lost all control
My efforts to relax are in vain
There are no answers
This is just how it is
Flashbacks start and I can do nothing
Except let them do their thing
Unheeded and uninfluenced
They will pass in good time

Duality

I don’t want to let today go
It’s been so great
I’ve not let the cracks show
And I can’t wait
Until this becomes my normal
When the smile’s real
And the laugh’s less a chortle
More the real deal
Happiness is there though
Buried down deep
Trying to expand and grow
From dormant sleep
But anxiety comes up
To claim the day
Like a young untrained pup
Who wants to play
Exuberant and daft
But unaware
Of damage it imparts
Without a care

Continuation

When I am done,
And can take no more,
That’s when you come
And my love restore.
You tell me things
I so want to hear,
Your body brings
An end to my fear.
You hold me tight,
In arms warm and strong.
“All will be right,
Nothing will go wrong”
I hear you say,
In a whispered voice,
But clear as day.
And I have no choice
But to continue on.

Girl

A young girl sits next to me
Not a girl you can see
But she is there all the same
And I know she shares my name
She tells me she’s sad, lonely and scared
That’s definitely sentiments I share
She tells me she didn’t fight to survive
So I could drown in my sorrow and cry
She fought for a future, an adventure, a life
She always knew she’d never be a wife
So she asks me why I am wasting my chance
To adventure, explore, to love and to dance
And as I turn and look into her blue eyes
I find I’m also asking myself why