Busted

I can’t guarantee I won’t run
If things ever seem more than fun
I ask for patience, that is all
And not to judge me when I fall
I want to give all I’ve got
Just not sure if it’s worth a shot
If I don’t know exactly where you stand
On things I know we hadn’t planned
There I’ve said it for all to see
Another part of crazy me
Few can handle such a messy head
But I’m hoping the signs are not misread
I’d really like to see where this goes
But you’ll have to keep me on my toes
I’m hoping all’s not done and dusted
Just because my mind is busted

Faulty Logic

I’ve applied the logic you speak of
And discovered it will never work
Logic says I am unlovable
That there is no conceivable way
The people in my life are interested
In anything more than
What they can take from me
Logic says my life is meaningless
That everything I have lived through
I somehow deserved
Logic says I live in a fantasy world
That is in no way connected to reality
Constantly chasing rainbows in dreams
Of a world full of love and kindness
Logic says no such world exists
Realising logic’s supporting evidence
Is overwhelming and fool-proof
Drains my desire to live
Give me rainbows and unicorns any day
Or give me the freedom of non-existence

Mind Games

My mind can take this beautiful
Gift you have given me and turn it
Into something demonic and ugly
Your motives are to play and destroy
Is how the story now reads in my head
Indifferent to anything beyond
Your own desires and satisfaction
Thoughts have not only immobilised me
But are pushing my frozen body to the edge
Of the cliff from which I desperately
Long to leap into the arms of oblivion

As It Is

It does not matter
What I think or feel
And the internal chatter
Makes nothing real
Regardless of what
Hopes and dreams
My mind might plot
Nothing is as it seems
It is what it is
And will be as it will be
When I realise this
Is when I can be free

Itchy

I never thought of you much
At the very start
But somehow or other
You’ve burrowed in my heart
And sit there as a tingling itch
I can’t reach to scratch
So you’re constantly on my mind