Who Would I Be?

What would I do,
And who would I be,
If there were no ‘shoulds’
Or ‘should nots’?
Would there still be such
Conflict in my mind if these
Limitations did not exist?
What would it mean to be ‘me’
If there were no ingrained
Social control mechanisms?
In what ways would life be different?
Or would it be just the same?

Face Down

Sitting on the edge of a cliff
Wondering if I should jump
But Billy’s singing “My Life”
And I want to hear that song
The ocean below’s blue and deep
Waves crash with a passion
I wish I truly felt
Goose bumps respond to the chill
As the sun hides its face
In the greyness above
For now I will sit and think
And maybe write a while
Face down the temptation
To escape into oblivion
And be free of all this Hell

Morning

3 am
Wake

3.15 am
Toss and turn

3.45 am
Surrender the fight
Shower

4 am
Cigarette

4.15 am
Make coffee to go

4.30 am
Drive to the park

4.45 am
Nausea

5 am
Pour my soul into a letter
I will never send

5.15 am
Watch the tugs do their thing

5.30 am
Listen to songs that say
All I can’t express

5.45 am
First sign dawn is coming

6.25 am
Sunrise
Time to get ready for work

Girl

A young girl sits next to me
Not a girl you can see
But she is there all the same
And I know she shares my name
She tells me she’s sad, lonely and scared
That’s definitely sentiments I share
She tells me she didn’t fight to survive
So I could drown in my sorrow and cry
She fought for a future, an adventure, a life
She always knew she’d never be a wife
So she asks me why I am wasting my chance
To adventure, explore, to love and to dance
And as I turn and look into her blue eyes
I find I’m also asking myself why