Faulty Logic

I’ve applied the logic you speak of
And discovered it will never work
Logic says I am unlovable
That there is no conceivable way
The people in my life are interested
In anything more than
What they can take from me
Logic says my life is meaningless
That everything I have lived through
I somehow deserved
Logic says I live in a fantasy world
That is in no way connected to reality
Constantly chasing rainbows in dreams
Of a world full of love and kindness
Logic says no such world exists
Realising logic’s supporting evidence
Is overwhelming and fool-proof
Drains my desire to live
Give me rainbows and unicorns any day
Or give me the freedom of non-existence

Words From The Edge

Sitting here, longing for complete obliteration, I am aware of the pain that would leave behind. Don’t ever think it never crosses my mind, but instead of motivating me to step back from the edge, it adds to, and compounds, the pain slicing my soul to pieces. Knowing the anger, hatred, and disappointment my thoughts and actions will inspire within you, increases my sense of patheticism and sends my self-disgust skyward. To someone already feeling pain beyond any scalable level, reinforcement of their unlovability makes surrender to lifelessness so much more attractive.

Legacy Strikes Again

The Legacy will never free it’s hold
Depths of pain continue to unfold
Doubt and insecurity rule
Always saying I am a fool
Yet within there’s so much love
Praying for help from above
I just don’t think I’m going to make it
Don’t have the energy to even fake it
It’s days like this oblivion’s calling
And all because I felt myself falling
How stupid I was to even consider
You’d be the one to finally deliver
The freedom I desperately crave
But emptiness is crashing like a wave
And I’m thinking I’ve seen better days
Starting to list all of the ways
To escape this fucked up spiral
Of never-ending love denial
And find peace at last