Faulty Logic

I’ve applied the logic you speak of
And discovered it will never work
Logic says I am unlovable
That there is no conceivable way
The people in my life are interested
In anything more than
What they can take from me
Logic says my life is meaningless
That everything I have lived through
I somehow deserved
Logic says I live in a fantasy world
That is in no way connected to reality
Constantly chasing rainbows in dreams
Of a world full of love and kindness
Logic says no such world exists
Realising logic’s supporting evidence
Is overwhelming and fool-proof
Drains my desire to live
Give me rainbows and unicorns any day
Or give me the freedom of non-existence

Ache

The beauty of the day is not lost
Even though tears are pouring out
Physical evidence of the cost
Of a mind that’s been fucked about
Craving more than withdrawal
Aching longingly for extinction
The torture of being abnormal
Leaves invisible marks of distinction

Legacy Strikes Again

The Legacy will never free it’s hold
Depths of pain continue to unfold
Doubt and insecurity rule
Always saying I am a fool
Yet within there’s so much love
Praying for help from above
I just don’t think I’m going to make it
Don’t have the energy to even fake it
It’s days like this oblivion’s calling
And all because I felt myself falling
How stupid I was to even consider
You’d be the one to finally deliver
The freedom I desperately crave
But emptiness is crashing like a wave
And I’m thinking I’ve seen better days
Starting to list all of the ways
To escape this fucked up spiral
Of never-ending love denial
And find peace at last

Friday

Three days
Five years
Yet another turning point
Everything seems to hinge
On this date once more
There is a sense of adventure
This time around however
Anticipation is increasing
At what Friday may bring

Separation

Each day is another step back
No hope now to get on track
I’m not sure there is anything left
And if I think too much I feel bereft
But I know it’s all meant to be
Eventually we will have phase three
For the here and now though
It’s time to turn and go
In separate directions