Do I regret it?
No, not at all.
I’ve loved every minute,
The laughter, the tears,
The joy and the stress.
Every moment taught me
Something about life and myself.
The memories are precious,
I’d do it again, just the same.
So, no regrets, only sadness
That it’s all coming to an end.
I assume someone else
Now has your heart
The way I used to
The thought makes me sad
But I can’t think
Of anything I can do
To make things
The way they once were
I know I will cry
And suffer the pain
But I hope with all my heart
You are happy
I just realised, I’m sitting here, feeling completely comfortable in my own skin. I’m missing you, yes, but I feel peaceful.
And you say I’m the crazy one?
How the tables have turned.
You’re behaviour’s quite insane.
How many bridges have you burned?
And if this was done to you,
Would you say that it’s okay?
Can you see the over-reacting,
Irrational dance you did today?
And what of tomorrow,
Or months down the track?
When all the wheels fall off,
And no one’s got your back?
What will be the story,
You tell to all your friends?
Will you say you’re hard done by?
We know how this all ends.
But go on right ahead,
I’ve been accused of worse.
At least I now accept myself.
Not being true is a curse.
You think you are superior,
That you know it all,
But when it gets down to it,
Pride comes before a fall.
A little bit of kindness,
And tolerance, and peace,
And gratitude for what you have
Could help the tensions cease.
I guess time will tell,
What the outcome will be,
But while we are waiting,
I’m so thankful I am me.
The decisions I make, may be confusing from the outside,
But they are my decisions.
The battle between head and heart leads in strange directions,
Far outside the conformity of social norms.
Alienated by feelings and emotions so foreign and intense,
Creating a loneliness too painful to express.
No one to express it to anyway,
As no one understands, but instinctively pass judgement,
Rubbing salt into the wounds inflicted by the self-flagellation
Of trying to find self-acceptance as an outsider in the world.
“Patience,” whispers the voice in my head,
Just as it has for almost a year.
“It’s not time yet. Be calm and be patient.
Everything will be as it should.”
Listening to this voice has caused
My heart to shatter time after time.
Rivers of tears have flowed down my cheeks.
Anxiety has ebbed and flowed.
The Tsunami of Wonderful has left
Complete destruction in its wake,
Only to be swallowed again and again,
By ever larger waves.
Don’t react or respond,
Just go with the flow.
Ride the wave and observe the chaos,
But don’t get swallowed by it.
The lessons have been hard and painful.
The joy verging on ecstasy.
A voice taking the breath away,
A touch a slow-burning pleasure.
A smile too much for the heart to bear.
Silence and absence devastating.
So low on the priority list, and yet,
Evidence suggests constantly on the mind.
Could it be I’m not the only one confused
By the conflict of heart and head?
And what of the voice whispering sweet and low
To be patient and calm?
Does it come from an Angel or the Devil?
Where will it lead, and what does it mean
By everything is meant to be?
The thrill of the chase
Is sometimes overpowered
By the pain of the wait.
But the power of the collision,
When it all comes together,
Is more thrilling and fulfilling
Than either of those.