Sweet Temptation

Oh, Sweet Temptation!
I know you are there,
Just lurking in the shadows,
Waiting to get me when I am
At my weakest.
I stand on the precipice
Of succumbing to your charms often,
But there is always something
That holds me back from
Your Heavenly embrace.
My inner core is too strong
For your persuasive powers.
So, I continue to come
To the edge of the unknown
And stand there,
Wondering if this time
The rod of steel will
Have weakened enough
For me to acquiesce
To your powers of persuasion.

It is funny, that I can stand
Beside the crevice and still
Remain alive and breathing,
Not in the least ready
To surrender at the level of my soul,
And yet yearn for that release
When I am safely
Out of harm’s way.
I fantasise about taking that one,
Tentative step that will cause
Me to free-fall into the chasm.
My mind goes off on a million
Different tangents, imagining
The various scenarios of
When, where and how
Your seduction will be complete.
And I am jealous of those who
Beguile you while you are
Waiting for me.
How dare you flirt
With more than one of us
At a time!
Why can’t you wait for me
To come running into your arms,
Like long-lost lovers do
In the old Hollywood movies?

The people around me
Have no idea of
My addiction to you.
They would be surprised
At how much you
Occupy my mind.

Like spirits to an alcoholic,
You have a hold on me
Like no other.
I know our relationship
Is not healthy, but I
Don’t know how to make
You stop tantalising me
With what might be.
And I am not sure
I want to make you stop.
Because when all is said and done,
At times it feels like
You are the only one that cares,
Even though I know you don’t.
But unlike the people
Who should care, but don’t,
You give me a sense of myself
That I know is truly me,
Because when I think about you,
I know it is my own thoughts
I am thinking,
Not some seed, that was planted
Long ago that I adopted
As my own and nurtured
To produce fruit, when it was not
My place to do so.

How long will we dance like this?
How long will you call my name
And show me your enticing nothingness?
Will I ever have the strength
Of heart to turn my back
On you forever?
I can’t see that happening
Any time soon, can you?
You are like a siren song
To a weary sailor,
The light to a moth,
The full moon to the high tide.
You draw me to you time after time,
And I am helpless against
Your charismatic endeavours.

But, I need to be strong.
I need to live.
I need to be whoever I am –
The me that is hidden by all
The baggage that has been
Heaped on me over the years.
The me that is not enslaved by the
Thoughts and deeds of others.
The me that is true.

So, here we are, Sweet Temptation.
Face-to-face once more.
This time I am stronger.
This time I am acutely aware
That you don’t really care
For me at all.
That has never mattered before,
But today it does.
Today, I am making a stand,
And I am asking you to
Take your wares and leave.

I know you will return,
But I am not in the market
For your treasures today.

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