What Happened?

What happened to the lover of life,
The go-getter, the joy-maker?
What happened to finding wonder
In the smallest, most trivial things?
What happened to the Goddess,
The confident, independent woman?
What happened to que sera,
Whatever will be, detachment?
What happened to me?

Burn Me

Let the fires of Hell rain down
And consume me if they must
But don’t make me leave this town
The only home I trust
A place of love and freedom
Despite the words I write
I can’t imagine leaving
Though I try with all my might
The gypsy blood’s retired
Well that’s just how it seems
Something that’d never transpired
Even in my wildest dreams
But my feet are growing roots
Deformed and stunted though they be
And I don’t give two hoots
Because here I can be me
I can love and laugh and play
Explore the world and inner self
Getting more settled every day
Than I have anywhere else
So let those Hell fires burn me
I don’t really care
To uproot for another journey
Completely fills me with despair

Morning

3 am
Wake

3.15 am
Toss and turn

3.45 am
Surrender the fight
Shower

4 am
Cigarette

4.15 am
Make coffee to go

4.30 am
Drive to the park

4.45 am
Nausea

5 am
Pour my soul into a letter
I will never send

5.15 am
Watch the tugs do their thing

5.30 am
Listen to songs that say
All I can’t express

5.45 am
First sign dawn is coming

6.25 am
Sunrise
Time to get ready for work

Girl

A young girl sits next to me
Not a girl you can see
But she is there all the same
And I know she shares my name
She tells me she’s sad, lonely and scared
That’s definitely sentiments I share
She tells me she didn’t fight to survive
So I could drown in my sorrow and cry
She fought for a future, an adventure, a life
She always knew she’d never be a wife
So she asks me why I am wasting my chance
To adventure, explore, to love and to dance
And as I turn and look into her blue eyes
I find I’m also asking myself why